Spencer Burger

Let me first say that it was an extremely difficult decision to arrive at Seven Brothers and not order the perfect burger. It feels as if someone is offering you one hundred dollars and you are deciding telling them you only want fifty. That said, my responsibility is to not consume the best of burgers, but to boldy shoulder the burden of sifting out the excellence from the masses of mediocrity. It was with this mantle that I chose to instead order “The Spencer”. Seven Brothers lovingly adorns more than fifty percent of their burgers with a comedically large onion ring, and The Spencer is no exception. You would think for all the attention it garners due to its size, it’d be quite noticeable in the flavor but The Spencer has a deadly secret. One bite of this burger and you will undoubtedly come into contact with either the jalepenos or the ranch sauce. The jalepenos are very hot, as expected, but it is the ranch sauce that does you in. I had to cave and order a milkshake (despite my health goals of never consuming something that unhealthy again) in order to soothe my, now charred, mouth. What is amazing is that after you take this first miserable sampling, you will definitely want a second. “Surely I got most of the jalepenos in the first bite, maybe I’ll be able to taste the burger now”, you will say. You will then be reminded that it is not the jalepenos but the humble ranch sauce that continues to assault one of your seven senses. This process can continue for some time, after the fire cools a bit you find yourself inevitably wanting more. This burger earns a solid 9 on the scale. After bite 4 or 5 you will notice the pain begins to reside, this is not because the burger is no longer spicy, it is because you have now seared off all of your tongue’s pain receptors. At this point, your have reached a sort of “taste karma”. You have transcended the plane of feeling pain and now are left with the raw ability to taste the swiss cheese, caramelized onions, bacon and beef on a new level. With the outer layer of your tongue now disintegrated, you will be able to experience all of these flavors on a level of intimacy that only The Spencer can provide.