The Charburger
The Habit Burger Grill - American Fork, UT
November 12, 2021
In all of my days of purchasing burgers, shakes, and fries only to berate them (and on occasion praise them for excellence in an otherwise over-crowded vertical), I have not once encountered an experience that was as ‘average’ as this one. Most burger establishments have one item that either bombs the review or is the breakout star of their menu. Not so in the case of The Habit. The Burger, shake, fries, and even the bathrooms, all rate at a solid-medium 6. Aside from being close to number of the beast, I believe this averages out to an overall experience of about a 4. bUt cARtEr tHaT mATh iS wRoNG. Don’t be fooled, arithmetic was not my favorite subject in my academic career, but in my experience: if everything is ‘OK’ that means it was a bad experience. Burger math != numbers math.
The Charburger tastes like someone went down the street to Burger King, ordered a few patties, and then brought it back to The Habit and marked up the price after heating it back up. Here’s the thing, I actually really like Burger King burgers (don’t @ me) so this isn’t all bad. A 6 for a burger could be worse, but if you are in the mood for receiving a master class in how to sub-optimally cook a burger, I recommend taking out the middle man and just going straight to The King.
Much like the burger, I find enjoyment in Burger King’s chocolate shake. They have a dirty/cheap vibe to them that makes me feel like I’m doint something I really shouldn’t be doing when I consume them. It is exhilirating and not something you can really find from any of Burger King’s competitors! Alas, this is not a review of Burger King, as I had to pay a solid $5.00 for this milk shake and that amount of opression would never be tolerated for The King’s subjects.
The only thing on the menu that didn’t taste like it was door dashed from BK was the fries (I don’t even know if Burger King sells sweet potato fries?). Like everything else, the fries were fine but they lacked the zeal to get me excited about coming back to meet them for a return appointment in the future.
The bathrooms get a 6, could be much worse but there was also room for improvement.
overall
4/10
