The Outlaw Burger
Burgers & Barley - American Fork, UT
May 27, 2022
Burgers & Barley scores extremely high for their buger-craft, but their ability to create a gripping experience that leaves me excited to come back was just not there. For this reason, I give them a six. If you are going on a “live laugh love” fun evening and just trying everything everywhere all at once. Then by all means, get your burger from here and then get pretty much everything else from Seven Brothers.
The Outlaw burger is weirdly descriptive. Some may argue that culinary specimens do not abide by laws and regulations, they are wrong. Each restaurant dictates the law by which its citizens will behave. The Habit Burger makes it illegal for anything on their menu to be good, and they have a bunch of well-behaved law-abiding food items for you to choose from. Chubbys, on the other hand has a law, which is a sort of no-law law. Every time you get something there, it is contractually obligated to taste like a completely different meal (for better or for worse). Burgers & Barley enacted a similar government system to “The Habit” in that they formally decreed: “Every item on our menu will leave you just mildly dissatisfied and expecting more”. The Outlaw burger, however, said “Hell nah” to this and chose to take to become something beyond what Mr. or Mrs. Barley were dictating it should be. The Outlaw burger was defiantly delicious amidst a menu of complacent entrees. Between the insubordinately well-cooked onion rings, and the rebelliously delicious bacon, these contumacious condiments make it clear that they will not be held back by the beauracracy of corporate burgerdom. Pro Tip: To properly enjoy this burger, you have to awkwardly eat it in complete vertical slices. If you get the angle off by a fraction of a degree then you will actually overload your taste buds with any one part of the burger. It is a perfect, but delicate balance.
The Oreo Shake scores a whopping 3 out of 10. To date, the lowest scoring non-imposter (that’s right, it isn’t ice cream in a cup and it STILL scored extremely low) shake to date. Unlike its cousins, the imposter milk shake, this one does not have the consistency of ice cream in a cup. No, it is something else entirely. This milkshake resides at the opposite end of the spectrum, where spoons are useless and straws are mandatory. If you are in the mood to drink “Vanilla Ice Cream Soup” with an Oreo on top, then you will love whatever this was.
Upon receiving them, I was immediately intrigued by the thick, curved cut of these fries. I immediately dove in and ate a couple. I didn’t taste anything, had I not been paying attention, I would’ve sworn that I hadn’t even eaten anything at all. Every single time I ate one of these, I felt like it just evaporated in my mouth. Upon closer inspection, these fries appear to be cut thick, but due to the gravitational pull of the moon on the earth, Newton’s third law, and the fact that these are cut in a weirdly deceptive manner, you are eating what I’m going to call “Paper Fries”. You must eat at least 2.5 reams of Burgers & Barley’s fries before you will feel that you have gotten a satisfactory amount. Unfortunately, they serv them out in only 2 or 3 sheets per meal.
overall
Outlaw Burger : 6/10
